“Understanding LGBTQ Domestic Violence: An Interview with Advocate Adrienne Graff”

A few months ago, I wrote a post on Ungendering Violence  in which I attempted to come to terms with what I saw as the prevalence of domestic violence within queer communities and yet, the stark lack of conversations I heard around it. I was greatly encouraged to see this articulate and informed interview in “PQ Monthly” with my fellow Portland femme, Adrienne Graf. I appreciate any opportunity to keep this dialogue going.

I think IPV looks really similar in some ways in LGBTQ relationships as it does in “straight relationships.” Queer survivors can experience the same violence, control, manipulation, lethality, isolation, hurt and confusion that non-queer survivors experience. The ways that IPV looks different is that our relationships look different already than what we are taught is “normal” by the media, our parents, society, etc., so already queer survivors are starting from a great disadvantage. Our relationships are often already “othered” just by being queer, and being in a relationship with violence is also very “othering.” Another way violence looks different is identity is often used as a part of the abuse. Sometimes abusers will manipulate or threaten to out a partner. Sometimes abusers will use wrong pronouns to manipulate and silence their partners. Sometimes abusers will use shared/small community to control their partners. Sometimes abusive partners will insult their partners’ identity as a form of abuse and control.


Published in: on February 23, 2012 at 10:55 am  Leave a Comment  

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